i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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