i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize