is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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