You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
