You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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