I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
