i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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