To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
