i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
