ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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