u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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