i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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