Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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