We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
