There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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