are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
