thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Randomize
