I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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