Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
