Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
