...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
