i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
