I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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