she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
