do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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