you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
