i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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