Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Congratulations! We have a period
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