Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
