How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Farmville is her only friend.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
