someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
