I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
