just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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