I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
