yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
