i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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