at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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