my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
