We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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