So drunk, too bad you don't want this
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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