I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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