i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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