she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
