Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
