It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
