She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
