So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
