theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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