Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.

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(802): View more from Vermont

You want anything?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Gatorade and you naked.

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(740): View more from Ohio

do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house

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(512): View more from Texas

They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"

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(253): View more from Washington

Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know

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(512): View more from Texas

I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.

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