I'm jealous of your bromance
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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