It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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