Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
