I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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