He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
