nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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