Say something about gay babies.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
