the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
organizing the empties. That sober.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
They are going to name an STD after you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
