Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
