I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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