If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
