Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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