I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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