His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
