It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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