it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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