How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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