Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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