I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
