I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
