I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
